FAQs For Couples

  • Many banks, UPS stores, and other local businesses have notaries onhand. To sign the Heskem with a notary familiar with the document, please contact heskem@getora.org.

  • Witnesses to the Heskem do NOT need to be kosher witnesses according to Jewish law. It is preferable not to use family members as witnesses.

  • Choosing to sign a Heskem allows you to help create a safer and more respectful Jewish community, not just protect yourself. The choice of healthy couples to sign the Heskem makes signing the document more common, leading to more and more couples avoiding the dangers of acrimonious divorce and get refusal.

  • If a couple is signing both the Heskem and a civil antenuptial agreement, please reach out to heskem@getora.org for language bridging the two documents.

  • First, explain to your fiance the purpose of the Heskem and the reasoning behind it. Make sure to note that you are not contemplating divorce in the future for yourself, but want to be part of protecting Jewish couples more broadly. You are also welcome to schedule an appointment to discuss the Heskem by contacting heskem@getora.org.

  • Yes! The Heskem can be signed as a postnuptial agreement as well.

  • By signing the Heskem, you maintain all your legal rights–simply avoiding issues related to the Jewish divorce.

  • It is best to sign the Heskem in advance of the wedding, rather than on the wedding day itself. If the couple will not be seeing one another for seven days before the wedding, we recommend signing the Heskem prior to this period.

FAQs For Rabbis

  • You may reach out to our team directly to our rabbonim (rabbis) at at heskem@getora.org.

  • You can ask them to make an appointment with us at heskem@getora.org.

  • If you are a rabbi licensed to officiate weddings in New York State, you may notarize the Heskem. For rabbis in other states, you will likely need to refer the couple to a notary. For questions specific to your area, reach out to heskem@getora.org.

  • Yes, please see our list of endorsements above.

  • It’s important to note that you bring up the Heskem with all couples, and it indicates nothing personal about their relationship. Emphasize that signing the Heskem is not about a lack of trust, but an effort to create a safer and more Torah-centered Jewish community.